The Obligatory
"Play safe. Ski only in clockwise direction. Let's all have fun together."
Monday, September 25, 2006
Japan Sucks At Breakfast
I can now say, without any fear of making an error of judgment, that Japan sucks at breakfast.
Seriously, Japan, you suck hardcore at breakfast.
I tried to be a good traveler. I tried to do breakfast Japan-style. But not only would you not provide me with any foods that look remotely similar to anything anywhere else in the world would call breakfast, but you refuse to open any restaurants until 11AM. 11AM! That’s well after McDonald’s even stops serving their breakfast! Yes, you may open some buildings up by 10AM, luring me in with promises of crepes and waffles. Then you make me wait an hour.
Man alive, do you suck at breakfast.
For the past two days, you have just squeaked by providing waffles. And this morning’s 11AM hidden pancakes hit the spot, for sure. But enough is enough. I didn’t want to have to do it, but tomorrow, I’m going to McDonald’s for breakfast. I’m not dealing with your bullshit anymore. And I’m not waiting until 11 o’ clock to eat the first meal of the day. No sir. I’m sure you’ll try to throw something weird at me, like crab meat or pork on my hotcakes. Or you won’t even have hotcakes. God help you if you don’t have hotcakes.
Maybe if you didn’t suck so much at breakfast, I wouldn’t have to eat at an American restaurant. You really should get that straightened out.
And while you’re at it, why don’t you let me use my ATM card to take some cash out? And maybe get more places that take credit cards? You are a major industrialized nation, you know.
Seriously, Japan, you suck hardcore at breakfast.
I tried to be a good traveler. I tried to do breakfast Japan-style. But not only would you not provide me with any foods that look remotely similar to anything anywhere else in the world would call breakfast, but you refuse to open any restaurants until 11AM. 11AM! That’s well after McDonald’s even stops serving their breakfast! Yes, you may open some buildings up by 10AM, luring me in with promises of crepes and waffles. Then you make me wait an hour.
Man alive, do you suck at breakfast.
For the past two days, you have just squeaked by providing waffles. And this morning’s 11AM hidden pancakes hit the spot, for sure. But enough is enough. I didn’t want to have to do it, but tomorrow, I’m going to McDonald’s for breakfast. I’m not dealing with your bullshit anymore. And I’m not waiting until 11 o’ clock to eat the first meal of the day. No sir. I’m sure you’ll try to throw something weird at me, like crab meat or pork on my hotcakes. Or you won’t even have hotcakes. God help you if you don’t have hotcakes.
Maybe if you didn’t suck so much at breakfast, I wouldn’t have to eat at an American restaurant. You really should get that straightened out.
And while you’re at it, why don’t you let me use my ATM card to take some cash out? And maybe get more places that take credit cards? You are a major industrialized nation, you know.
Labels: travel
that one guy you know, 7:26 PM
| 
| 
| 
| 
| 
| 
| 
| 
|
| | | | | | | | |
